Yesterday I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of five hours searching for fellowships and grants for next year. What a mind-numbing experience. Also a bit frustrating, because I’m pretty sure that I won’t be getting any of those fellowships. No Ivy League credentials, no publications, and (gasp!) a lot of time spent teaching instead of researching. I suppose there’s a chance that I’ll get lucky; it’s pretty much a crap shoot, as far as I can tell, depending more on the mood of the reviewer than the quality of the application. It’s kind of like playing the lottery, except that I’ll spend hours-upon-hours of writing time instead of dropping a buck and getting a squishee at the Qwik-E-Mart. Sigh.
Still…wouldn’t it be great if I got one? And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the sentiment that will keep me coming back for more. I believe it’s also what keeps people at the slot machines.